Since writing the book BeDoHave about finding happiness several years ago, I have spent thousands of hours thinking about and in conversation with people about the subject of being happy.

What makes us happy, how do we become unhappy, how do we be happy when there is nothing to be happy about… that kind of stuff.

As a husband and father - (and therefore by default the provider) - many times happiness seems tied to my ability to fulfill these roles. In other words if the family is provided for and is happy - then I am happy.

If you have completed the “Definitions of Success” exercises (given away for signing up for the blog), then you know it is impossible to base success - or happiness on something out of your control. Nor do I believe we should base on happiness on others.

Four years ago we bought some expensive dirt outside Atlanta and proceeded to build a dream. More on When do you spend time with your kids?

I am reading an interesting book I found lying on our coffee table. It’s about the Australian Aborigines.

This is not my first introduction to this magnificent race, but it is my first introduction to a novel idea about them and their society I think we all could benefit to understand.

The following few paragraphs are paraphased from the book Voices of the First Day by Robert Lawlor.

Before the advent of agriculture, the world was populated with hunter/gatherers. These peoples (like the American Indians and the Aborigines) owned no property, worshiped the Earth that provided all, and cared for everyone in the tribe.

In the hunter/gatherer society. they spent 2-3 hours a day hunting and gathering which produced a more balanced, varied and nutritious diet than our agricultural society ever has.

In the meantime we now spend 12-14 hours per day racing the clock to maintain and service our material existence as the agricultural and industrial society in which we live have created this glut of material goods and great poverty of time.

The introduction of the agricultural age brought to the Earth and her peoples environmental destruction, constant warfare, starvation, and moral and social decline. This came about in the need for ‘civilized’ people to ‘help’ others by bringing ‘civilization’ to them. Could we every be so lucky as the American Indian to be civilized by some superior culture…

Interesting way to look at it hmmm?

I find this so interesting in two different ways .

This first is that is ties in nicely with BeDoHave. I have always said that Being is most important and Having is least important.

The second is that I have become somewhat uncomfortable with the amount of time I am taking to sustain our lifestyle compared to the time I spend with my family and on cultural pursuits. That is - continuing personal growth and development and sharing that path with others along the way.

In fact while in southwest Florida this last week with my two sons and their Scout group, I spent some time looking at live aboard sailboats. We are thinking the way of life we had aboard a small boat traveling wherever, meeting whoever, and doing whatever allowed for a much more rewarding life than climbing any social or monetary ladder.

I ask you. Think of your life as it is. How much time are you spending just servicing and maintaining a lifestyle at the expense of family and true cultural pursuits?

I assure you there are many folks who would love to hear your story.

Please share it?

Miami

I wrote the book BeDoHave - The Cure the Great Unknown American Epidemic almost three years ago now. Thousands have heard the message contained within and have told me it works for them.

Over the winter I found myself falling back on Doing Having Being! And my life changed dramatically - for the worse!

Once I saw what I was doing and changed it back to Being first - it took a very short time to restore the equilibrium I need in my life. My energy returned, my happiness level soared back to previous level.

(Hang on - there is a point to this story!)

If you have read much of my articles over the last five years, you are aware Shelly and I built a sailboat to live on for six years. I loved it. We decided when our first son was 5 to come back from the Carribbean, sell the boat and make lots of money. More on Family time is crucial

One of the most challenging areas of parenting for me is teaching responsibility and accountability. In my career as a small business coach and consultant I consistantly discover this is the most often missing element in a business. I am convinced if a greater percentage of people understood the importance of empowerment (accountabillity and responsibility) - the world would be a much greater place! More on Empowering a 15 year old…

What do kids really need to know to be successful?

Of course the first question that comes to my mind is -What makes a kid successful?

Should we not answer the second question first?

In my opinion, if someone is doing what they love to do with passion and excitement, and they are not pretending to be something or somebody they are not - then they are successful.

Notice the words ‘money’, ‘job’, ‘career’, ‘profession’ are not in my definition of success.

How does that affect you? What is your opinion of success for your kids?

Click on comments and add yours. We really do want to hear them!

Miami

Everyone has them - those horrible, terrible, no good, very bad days.

I sat down with Tommy for his reading lesson. We are working our way through Engelmann’s Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons.

Tommy loves books, and wants badly to access all their secrets. He will sit for hours paging through books he can’t really read, looking at diagrams and pictures trying to understand what’s written there. Some days, he loves his reading lessons, and wants to do two or even three at a sitting. Other days (like yesterday) he does everything he can think of to sabotage the process and make it miserable for both of us. More on One of those days…

Searching the Internet brought me to this quote from the Detroit Press in 2005

“The prevailing attitude is that children should be nudged, not pushed; nurtured, not nagged; encouraged to find their own way in an environment of low pressure and low expectations. But that doesn’t produce nearly the results as a firm hand on the shoulder and the parental command of, “Go this way.”

Few children are getting that sort of direction from their parents, according to the Your Child survey of Michigan residents aged 18-30, conducted by EPIC-MRA.

Only 30 percent of the young adults say their parents insisted on them going to college. Those children didn’t rebel, as the popular parenting wisdom suggests.

Instead, they were more likely to earn a college degree and land in jobs that make them happier and pay them more than those with hands-off parents.”

I can’t disagree more. More on Push Them to Success?

We love home schooling our kids, JJ age 8 and Tommy age 6. Everything we do seems to turn out to be a learning experience (for the kids and the parents!)

Take Easter morning, for example. It was almost like a flashback from a Numb3rs episode… More on Learning all the time

A few months back, a group of folks who had come together from all over the world to learn more about this Internet thing. We all wanted to know how we could utilize the Internet as a tool to accomplish our individual goals.

Some of us wanted to make money.

Some wanted to help others.

Some wanted to be part of something.

Some didn’t have a clue.

Two of the group stumbled into common areas of interest and struck up friendship based on those interests. They both had built and cruised sailboats across oceans. More on Our successful kids…